Hey guys....I haven't blogged in a long time as usual but here I am blogging since it's the term break, which also means I sleep at 3am almost every day during it. Haha, reminds me of the 6 months holiday after O's. I've been so.....different lately, to me, at least.
I've been trying to be so positive in all aspects, and i've been encouraging my friends a lot too because I feel like I gain positivity and encouragement from that as well? Idk. I'm just trying because the past one month has been hard for me. School-wise. It's not easy to juggle 7 projects and also complicated relationships...I want to stay neutral and not take any sides, but somehow I always gravitate towards one side. Lol. I've been ranting a lot to many people about my troubles and I'm really so so blessed to have people actually understand AND listen to me. This year it feels as if I really have the support of my loved ones, which I am really thankful for.
I've tried so hard not to break down in school but I actually did, just one month into it. It was actually due to my carelessness so meh, i just panicked and broke down. It was kinda embarrassing crying in public especially in school so I'll be more careful next time, haha. Other than that, I tend to always bottle up my emotions and release them when I get home. I used to want to stay in school all the time and drown myself in the company of my friends and studies but as time passed, I just felt like going home immediately with no intention of staying in school. The thought of school just gives me an uneasy feeling, I think some of you can relate to this haha.
However, with hyron and the girls (+ my sec school besties), I really feel so loved and supported. I just want to do well in my studies and make MYSELF and MY PARENTS proud. I promised myself that it would be a new start. I'm glad there's actually improvement in my character and I'm proud of myself. I have friends who told me that I am so much more initiative now, which is a good thing!!!! But I feel like I need to grab opportunities more when it's just there.
I also would like to thank my fandom friends. Honestly they've been there for me when no one else did!!! So so blessed with amazing people that I've met over the course of this 4 months. I didn't want to go back into the kpop fandom thing with a kpop account and all but I really did the right thing. They guided me when I was at my lowest and gave me so much encouragement. :')
There is going to be tougher days ahead, especially after term break and I am sure I will be faced with many obstacles, and I will probably hate my life and regret being born and shit like that but I know I will get through it all! Everything will be in place and run smoothly in the end, I'm sure of it. Always be positive and encouraged alright people! Even if you are feeling down and you have no one to talk to, just tell yourself you're so much stronger than this because you're worth it. Be proud of who you are and always be yourself :) Hehe I really like encouraging others because it makes myself feel good too.
Have a lovely term break, catch up on sleep, games & fun and just relax!!!!!!!!!!! All will be fine.
Till then.
