Options

As I am typing out this blog post, I have come to realise that I still have options.


 Today I collected my GCE 'O' Level results and truth be told, I am disappointed and angry at myself. What for, you ask? I'm angry and upset because I did not work hard enough, just two more points to my dream score. It was definitely a pity....my best subjects in secondary school really let me down this time, or should I say, I let myself down big time. I got a B4 for English which is fucking atrocious and even worse, a C5 (WTF) for Combined Humanities. I dropped at least 2 fucking grades for both subjects since prelims. I know I was a bit complacent and I rested on my laurels....and I really regret it.

I honestly didn't expect myself opening up to more options. I was solely focused on mass comm. and didn't bother to let myself explore other choices that I had. I even spent extra time for dpa on mass comm. only to be rejected because I was unprepared. However right now, I finally took a good look at my JAE booklet and realised how many courses I was interested in. I thought it over long and hard & finally decided to go for a different course this time round.

I talked to my father on the phone and discussed with him about my interests and my curiosity towards the courses....and I am actually quite interested in business and hospitality/tourism! I'm also quite interested in retail management.

 I over-estimated myself to be someone who was good at English, good at writing and good at speaking in public, and honestly I am not that someone. Hence I have decided not to pursue mass comm. any longer. I don't think I would be comfortable in that course and also....I realised that I wanted this course because it was popular.

It was a rash decision of mine to only focus on mass comm. (it was like tunnel vision??? idk) but now I am open to more options. Furthermore there are more career prospects in the other courses that I am interested in.

All of you reading this would think that I am doing this because I am bitter, angry, upset, jealous because I am not able to get into mass comm. Well I AM kinda sad that I don't meet the criteria and also because everyone around me scored so well, but this was a long day for me. I didn't talk much today nor did I really interact with anyone (lol) because I was so occupied with thinking about my courses.

I don't fucking care if anyone criticises me on my choice. This is my life, I am old enough to decide for my own future and I don't need anyone to butt in. I am grateful for all the positive comments and support my friends and family have given to me so far but I really want to take control of my own future. I promise that it will be a good 3 years for me, and I will make full use of the time I have to make it up for my O level results.

I am willing to adapt to succeed and just go all out for my poly life. I know I will bump into certain obstacles but I really will try my best. I don't want to experience the pain of crying the whole day again just because I did not meet my own expectation.

I will do it and I can do it.